I haven’t visited the AVG website in a while and think it ironic that Bob’ most recent post is about slowing down and patience. You see, I fell down the stairs in my townhouse almost ten days ago and boy have I been slowed down! Not that I am the type of person that operates on a particularly fast pace. I can actually be really fine just hanging out doing “nothing”. Oh, but now I really don’t have a choice in the matter and have to deal with the feelings that come up around that!

Let me start out by saying that I was extraordinarily fortunate and not seriously injured. I say fortunate because I fell head first down approximately 7 or 8 stairs was probably stopped by my front door which is metal. I can only guess that is what stopped me because I was knocked out for about five minutes and only remember the beginning of the fall. I sustained a concussion and a fractured collarbone. It could have been so much worse!

As I “came to” and my mind started racing, I began to realize various “horrifying” things:

1. The right temple of my wire rim glasses was all bent out of shape so good thing I had an eye doctor appointment the following Monday and maybe I can go over to Lenscrafters and have it fixed until then…..

2. Oh my gosh – there was blood on my carpet and my townhouse is on the market – will I be able to get it cleaned up completely? If not, then what do I do about the carpet?

3. Hmmm, I was supposed to go pick up a friend to go to a barbecue – maybe I shouldn’t be driving but I have the desserts we were bringing.

I was a bit discombobulated to say the least. I managed to walk back up the stairs and find some spray carpet cleaner but didn’t think about bringing down a rag to blot up the blood once I sprayed. I left a bizarre voicemail for my friend telling her I fell, had a few bumps on my head, probably shouldn’t be driving but she was welcome to come get the desserts for the barbecue. Somewhere in there I did wonder if I should call “911”. Luckily, another friend called and when she heard what happened, came over to assess my situation, and decided to haul me off to the ER. I really was not capable of figuring that out for myself!

One CT scan, 3 x-rays, and one tetanus booster later I was sent home with a sling and instructions not to drive until the collarbone was healed (approximately four weeks). Four weeks! That meant cancelling appointments – including the aforementioned eye exam. What am I going to do without being able to drive for four weeks? I immediately considered “cheating” and driving anyway – as soon as the dizziness and nausea abated. Four weeks is such a long time and I am an independent sort of a gal who is not used to having to rely on anybody else. And gosh, I had rotator cuff surgery three years ago and was driving two days later. The clavicle didn’t even really hurt all that much.

Well, common sense so far has prevailed and I have decided to follow the doctor’s orders. This, of course, means that I have slowed down considerably AND have to ask for help. I am fortunate to have a network of friends who have made themselves available to help me. This is both a blessing and a lesson in allowing myself to be taken care of rather than feeling I have to do everything myself. Since I am recovering from a relatively traumatic event the slowing down part really has been surprisingly easy. I have had a few trips out of the house thanks to my friends and find that I get tired fairly quickly and have to stop and be slow. You know what? It really isn’t all that bad! Except of course the not being able to just decide to get in my car and take off if I want to – but I am saving money on gas for a while….

I have also been able to spend some time looking back at the fall itself. I really was not “rushing” but I was most likely distracted and not fully present or being completely mindful. Initially, I started to look for the spiritual meaning of this accident. What was the message? Why did something of this magnitude have to occur to catch my attention? It took a few days to start to see the larger picture (did I mention I was dizzy, nauseous, and had a concussion?) and I am still processing the information I am receiving about it. It feels literally as though I was struck by one of those cosmic 2 x 4’s and now the fog is lifting and I am being shown more of my spiritual truth. Not a bad thing (actually, anytime I am shown or given information about my spiritual path I feel blessed) but there are times over the past several days when I wish it could have been a bit less profound….and less painful. Maybe it is really about balance – staying on pace enough to be open to receiving the truths about oneself without trying to rush the process because rushing the process creates the opening to take those missteps.