All of Our Voices (Posts from Contributors)


Things have been quiet lately.  I have been quiet lately.  Sometimes I begin to wonder whether or not I am being too quiet, or perhaps have entered a state of apathy.  When I start to think this, I begin to realize that I have entered into a state of detachment.  I am perfectly content just “being”.  And there really is nothing wrong with that.

As a spiritual being having a human experience, I find myself in the place of moving closer and closer to Spirit.  I feel this during my meditation.  I wake up knowing I have just returned from Mystery School, which is a place of spiritual learning I first visited during sleep almost two years ago.  I also am noticing that I am no longer becoming entangled in emotions and work very hard at not getting stuck in my mind.  For me, as for many, these are the two biggest obstacles to maintaining my connection with Spirit.

These new places sometimes catch me unaware.  When I no longer live in the drama and trauma of the Third Dimension, I am freeing myself up to ascend to the Fifth Dimension.  But along with the freedom comes a sense of loss.  Who am I if I am not getting caught up in emotions or thinking obsessively?  How do I define myself now?  How will others experience me as I am manifesting a paradigm shift that they know nothing about?  Especially when those others are family and friends.

One answer that comes to me is that it doesn’t matter.  Nothing matters except God.  To reach God, in my experience, it is imperative that I transcend the realms of emotion and mind.  And by doing this, I go to a place that is truly beyond words.  How can one describe merging with God by using mere words?  There is no way in my experience that something that huge and all transcendent can be distilled into written or spoken words.  And so, I find myself  detached from things of the world, turning more and more inward and becoming more and more quiet.  I stop judging myself as being apathetic and simply allow the Loving to envelop me.  It is ALL God, and God is GOOD.

Namaste!

By now, the news about the three deaths at a “sweat lodge” in Sedona is growing stale.  In a quest to become “Spiritual Warriors”, too many people entered a structure that may or may not have been built properly, apparently spent too much time in intense heat, and as the ceremony concluded, it appears that half of them succumbed to the conditions.  Normally, I would not be following this with much interest and most likely that is how most feel.

I have to admit that I have been searching for everything I can find about this story, but there is an explanation.  The self help guru who put on this event called “Spiritual Warrior” is a man named James Arthur Ray.  He has been on Oprah and was seen in the movie “The Secret” which is all about the Law of Attraction.  He came to Colorado Springs last spring, offering a free seminar, and I attended.  So did several of my friends and acquaintances.

The free seminar was, naturally, designed to attract people to James Ray’s very costly seminars, only one of which is “Spiritual Warrior”.  There was loud music with a pounding beat, lots of high energy, and promises that our lives would be changed.  Two of my friends signed up for the seminar he was promoting called Harmonic Wealth.  One later signed up for two subsequent workshops.  I cannot say whether or not the lives of these friends has been changed for the better, but I can say that I was not very comfortable in the presence of this “guru”.   Yes, I am a skeptic.

Now, I am not certain that James considers himself a guru but that is the title that has been attached to his name by the media.  I do know that he appears to be a highly successful and influential man who struck me as a true salesman.  I walked away from the free seminar with two strong impressions:  1. the teachings of James Ray appeared to be putting money before God, and 2. this was not in alignment with my spiritual belief that puts God before everything (God first and God only).  While he seems to be considered a spiritual teacher, it appears that he has created great personal wealth by offering his brand of enlightenment.

To me, the point of the spiritual quest is to reconnect with God and the oneness of everything.  It seems that anybody who claims to have the answers and will only share them upon receipt of payment for them (to the tune of thousands of dollars) may not be living in the Light.  Currently, there is a huge shadow hanging over James Arthur Ray.  One of the first things he apparently said at a free introductory seminar held after the tragedy was that he (James) was being “tested”.  I think the test is to truly learn how to live in the Light, remain in integrity, and learn to transcend the place of Ego.

I recently watched The Moses Code DVD.  This was the second viewing and I found that I resonated quite well with it.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with The Moses Code, the message is quite simple.  God appeared to Moses in the form of a burning bush.  Moses asked who was speaking to him.  The answer – “I Am That I AM.”   The Moses Code emphasizes that the answer was truly, “I Am That, I Am”.  The comma being the missing “code” that changes the meaning from being the name of God to a statement that we are all One.

I am not certain I got that the first time, maybe I wasn’t paying attention.  But as I have been cementing myself more firmly into my God-hood or God-ness, I am finding myself resonating with this idea much more.  After all, I believe in the oneness of everything and that we are all Sparks of the Divine so the “I Am That, I Am” statement makes sense to me.  And since it makes sense, I have decided to take it on as a part of who I am.  Or should I say, who I AM.

Even as I write this, I realize that the I AM consciousness is nothing really new and I have been living it for quite a while already.  This confirms for me my belief that we know everything we need to know and our task is to remember.  Maybe that is the reason I felt such a strong resonance with the message of “The Moses Code”.  I was being reminded of that which I already knew but perhaps let slip out of my consciousness for a while.

Things can become slippery when we lose sight of our connection to the Oneness of God.  We become caught up in our emotions and our dualities and tend to forget our Divinity.  We connect with our “stuff” and become caught up in fear.  Then we lose sight of the most important knowing of all  –  the Loving of God.  So, why do things get so slippery?  Why are we unable to hold onto that oneness with God?  Why is it so difficult to remain in that consciousness?  I ask myself these questions repeatedly.  I feel so wonderful when I am experiencing the Loving and the Light of God, yet I still spend more time seeking than experiencing.

The best answer that I am able to manifest is that I am still caught up in my “human experience”.  Yes, I am a very spiriutal being but I am also a human being.  Thankfully, I am a human being very much into the process of awakening into my God-ness, so the lessons come a bit quicker these days.  I am capable of seeing how my emotions and fears and experiences of the third dimension (also known as my “stuff”) are  manifesting to show me how to clear out old patterns and reach ever more toward the place in which God and I co-exist.  This is the place where God and I meet and where I can truly see that I AM THAT, I AM!

Namaste!

I feel as though I have been very quiet lately in the spiritual sense. Almost too quiet. I believe this is a function of having been too much in the world. It seems as though I have had to try on the “worldly” persona one more time in order to realize once and for all that it does not feel comfortable at all. And I realize now that this persona probably has never been comfortable. No wonder I have never quite felt as though I “fit in” anywhere.

As I see signs in my life that being too much in the world upsets my equilibrium, I find myself trying to find solutions toward restoring balance to my life. My solution has been to go inward and upward toward God – to remember that the most important thing in my world is my connection with God. More and more I am finding that place to be my comfort zone. When I go within, I can feel God’s presence in my being and that feeling is wonderful. In that place, I can release myself from the place where I judge myself and try to figure things out and find reasons for everything. I can understand that nothing other than God is real and that everything real comes from God and God’s Loving.

Now I understand that the reason my equilibrium has been off is that I have been feeling pulled more into the third dimension – the dimension of emotions, duality, and worldliness. This dimension no longer fits me. It is totally uncomfortable. I am connecting more and more with the fifth dimension, which is the place of IAM, unification, and oneness with God. I am feeling very strongly pulled to leave the third behind. The next challenge is to determine how to gracefully create a bridge for myself in order to attain the connection with the fifth dimension I am feeling so called to fully enter.

As I ask this question, the answer being given to me is “go within”. By going within, the importance of the third dimensional, outer world, seems to fade significantly. From this place, I feel my connection to God and let everything else dissolve. I feel the Love of God, the Peace of God, and the Essence of God. And it feels wonderful!

Namaste!

Well a funny thing happened in my life.  I am not certain what to make of it.  Neither am I certain what to do with it.  So right now I am just sitting with it.  On March 23, I began a program called Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) with a local hospital.  This can lead to certification as a chaplain, pastoral counselor, or even psychotherapist should I finish all the requirements for four units (eight for certification in psychotherapy).  I started the application process late November and was accepted the end of December.  This has certainly put a crimp in my free flowing lifestyle.  I now have structure and stress in my life.

In my usual manner, I just plunged forward without much planning and a knowing that starting this program would be the end of my unstructured life.  I seem to spend my life following “callings” and then react to the feelings that come up around my actions.  I guess it might not be the best way to do things but this is definitely “my way.”  Now I am two weeks into the program and dealing with a lot of human “stuff” – my human “stuff” – that is coming up around my current experience.  I am seeing that there are many layers to this!

The outermost layer is that of emotion.  I am dealing with fear of being “incompetent” at this, fear of failure.  Well, then, if the duality in my worldview is that of fear or love, I work very hard on countering my fear with connecting with the Loving of God.  This does help but it is sometimes difficult for me to hold onto when I am in the thick of things.  First, there is no formal training or even guidelines as to what direct ministry in the hospital is supposed to look like.  Then, the various chaplains naturally all have their own distinct personalities and ways of doing things and I have received a few mixed messages about what I am supposed to do and where.

The third major hands on thing that has been creating fear for me is the fact that I had to immediately choose one night per week to be “on call.”   The issues that come up for me around being on call and responsible, again with not much guidance or training but a few instructions that I have no frame of reference for, is probably the biggest hurdle for me right now.  It might even be the one that seems like a “deal breaker.”   This issue in itself has a few layers – in addition to the competence vs. fear of being incompetent piece, I also have touched on issues of whether or not I have the energy to be woken up possibly in the middle of the night, deal with a spiritual crisis, go home, then possibly get called again.  Thank goodness for back up chaplains!

Once I am able to shift into the place of God’s Loving and deal with my fears, I find there are practical issues that are arising.  The biggest one is how to fit in the clinical requirements and fulfill my learning contract which is to learn about three fundamental faiths.  I agreed to attend services, meet with religious leaders, read about the three faiths, and write a three to five page paper.  This is a full time “job” and I have been living the life of a retired person since December 2007.  I miss my freedom and flexible life.

As I have been looking beyond the issues on the outer layer, I have been connecting with some of the deeper issues.  For the past several months, I have been aware of my longing to not be “in the world.”  Ever since the veil between my human self and my spiritual self was shattered last summer, I find myself drawn much more inward and upward as opposed to outward.  This path I am walking right now is forcing me back out into the world.  I want to be inside, communing with Spirit and because I am being drawn away from that place, my Spiritual equilibrium seems to be seriously affected.  It feels as though the ground is being moved out from under my feet.  I am losing the balance I have enjoyed so much being able to know God and be in God’s presence.

Now, I know that God has not gone anywhere.  I also know the veil has not reformed or reconfigured itself and separated me from my spiritual self.  That is an illusion.  Just as my fear in the more superficial aspect of this conundrum is an illusion.  God is constant.  My connection to God is static.   In this all there is a spiritual lesson to be learned and a spiritual truth to be discerned.  My challenge is not really anything about CPE training.  My challenge is about defining my Spiritual Truth.

Namaste!

It seems that lately many people I know are living in fear.  Mostly they are in fear about the future, particularly their economic future.  Right now, I seem to be one of the few people in my “crowd” that is not worried.  Maybe I should be, but I truly do not think it is necessary.  Fear is a consciousness that one chooses into, or not.  In truth, fear is a spiritual lesson.

In my experience, there really only is love or fear.  We  fear what may happen to us in the future or fear that something from our past may be haunting us.  This consciousness interferes with being in the present moment.   The present moment is really all we have.  We are unable to return to the past to change or redo anything we might regret.  And we do not really know how much future remains.  Worrying about either totally drains our energy and keeps us from enjoying life as it exists for us in the “here and now”.  This process seems to move us away from our connection with God and Divine Love.

How, then, can fear be spiritual?  It would seem that I am saying if we are in the fear consciousness, we have distanced ourselves from the spiritual consciousness.  Fear is an emotion.  When we feel the energy of fear, it usually is not a pleasant sensation.  Something feels off or wrong.  This means that fear is also a signal telling us that something is amiss.  Fear is telling us that we are drifting away from our spiritual centers.  We are choosing to turn away from love.  If we are open spiritually, we are capable of listening to this signal or warning sign that our spiritual anchors are loosening.  So, while being in a place of fear is not particularly desirable, if it serves the purpose of redirecting us back to spirit, then it most definitely serves a spiritual purpose.

From that realization, we can now see that events happening in the outer world that are causing us to react in fear are actually serving a higher purpose.  Although it may seem that our “world” is crumbling around us (particularly economically), it is all an illusion – nothing in the physical world is real  The only reality is our oneness with God and it is Fear that can serve as the catalyst for our moving back to Spirit and our innate connection with our spiritual selves.

Namaste!

I have been wondering lately how people get “stuck” in their lives. I used to be stuck in the sense that I hated my job but did not feel capable of finding another. A little over two years ago, I realized that I was keeping myself in a box. My box looked like this: I started in an entry level position, moved up because I was capable of doing much more than entry level work, found that the place I was working was not nurturing to me, stayed where I was because I did not believe I could do any better. I attributed this pattern to the fact that I never pursued or nurtured a career. I married while still in college, worked a short time until my oldest daughter was born, and stayed at home raising my three daughters until I was divorced at age forty. It was a convenient excuse!

My “awakening” about how I keep myself stuck coincided with my realization that the most important thing to me was my connection with God. I began to realize how the job I was hanging onto from a place of fear was not compatible with nurturing my connection with God. My job sucked the life out of me. It left me exhausted and from that place of exhaustion, I found it easy to allow God to slip into the background. As I was becoming more in touch with myself as a Spiritual Being, I found that I was unable to tolerate being in a space where I was not keeping God in the forefront of all I do.

Without going into a lot of details, let me say that I am no longer stuck. I have been able to create a life now where God comes first – I can meditate and feel connected to God as much as I want, I feel happy and sometimes even blissful, I feel free and completely alive. I have been able to manifest this simply by trusting that all I need is God. My spiritual teachers use the phrase, “God first and God only” and I am a believer. I found that from the place of God first – or nothing is more important in my life than my connection with God – everything else falls into place. This meant I had to trust that I would be supported by the Universe as I stepped out of my box into the unknown. That seemed like a lot to ask from a person who was brought up in the energy of fear but the call of God and the Love of God turned out to be far greater than the energy of fear.

It really is easy but I believe we tend to make it hard. We make it hard until we realize that the essence of our choice comes down to Love or Fear. When we choose to stand in Love we are choosing God. When we choose to remain in Fear, we are choosing to stay in our boxes. My words to all who feel stuck is to trust the Universe, choose Love and God and from this place, everything else will be as it should. Namaste!

Last year I published a post here titled, “It’s Tough Being A Jew At Christmas”.   It was inspired by two of my daughters complaining to me about this fact.  I guess this year things may have changed since I have yet to hear from them, but then again, it is not quite Christmas yet….

Sundown on Sunday was the beginning of Hanukkah and I realized that this year I have absolutely no energy about either holiday – Hanukkah or Christmas.  I have sent and received a few cards and exchanged presents with close family, but it really does not feel like “the holidays” to me.  It has come to me that the reason for this does not appear to be the economy (bah humbug).  And I do not believe it is related to the fact that since I am retired from my job I do not interact with myriad people who are talking about Christmas and shopping and wrapping, etc.  Yes, I am still in Colorado Springs and not too many people around here are talking about their Hanukkah shopping and wrapping and candle lighting, etc.

What has occurred to me is the fact that I have changed.  Since I retired, I spend much more time just being.  I have much more time and energy to meditate and “check in” with God.  From this place, I have come to the realization that every day is a holy day because I experience God every day.  I live the miracle of knowing God each day all day long.  I keep God first in my life and from my connection with God, my experience has been that for the most part the rest of my life flows in ease and with grace. What a gift!

Now, I do not mean to imply that those who celebrate holidays do not feel connected to God, for if they did not, I doubt there would be holiday celebrations.  I also do not want to infer that people should stop celebrating holidays.  I believe that the wonder and awe of certain times of the year can be very inspiring.  After all, is not this the time of year when we speak about “peace on earth, good will toward men”?  We seem to concentrate on miracles that come from God.  I am just wondering how life might be different should more of us stop to consider the holiness and miracle of each and every day.   Instead of concentrating our energy toward specific holidays, why not keep that energy going for every holy day, 365 days per year (366 days every leap year)?

Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ, who is recognized as a Divine being.  Since we all contain a spark of the Divine within us and every day is somebody’s birthday, then we can certainly celebrate every day as the birthday of a Divine being.  Hanukkah celebrates the miracle of Light from God.  As sparks of the Divine Light, each of us can be seen as a Miracle of Light.  And every day is a gift from God.  Every day is Holy.  Happy Holy Day to each and every one of you.  Namaste!

As noted in a previous post, I fell down about half a flight of stairs in my townhouse last July. The immediate consequence was a concussion and fractured collarbone. I am mostly healed from the physical effects of the fall but there appear to be some long term and possibly permanent changes in my life as a result of the head injury. I noticed right away that the veil between my physical and spiritual selves seemed to have disintegrated. This has been pretty positive because I feel much more connected to what I refer to as my “God place”, which is the place where I feel my soul connects with the great “I AM” – the light and love of God. It feels as though I am constantly aware of the connection. Connecting with God seems effortless and constant. Woo Hoo! I like this feeling because for me, everything emanates from my connection with God. In God, everything is perfect and my life falls into place.

I began to notice something else shortly after my fall. I found myself becoming more open to things I did not really believe in the past. I am specifically referring to “channeled” messages. I used to be quite skeptical of psychic readings, tarot readings, and people who claimed they channeled spirit guides or angels. A little over a week after my fall, a friend forwarded an email pointing me in the direction of Archangel Uriel and a channel about the energies of 8/8/08. I decided to listen and found myself resonating with the message. I resonate with Archangel Uriel’s messages so much that I continue to listen and actually traveled three hours (each way) recently to attend a three hour class and obtain a personal reading from the woman that channels Uriel. This is something totally unlike the old me!

I found that some of my reading confirmed things I have already realized by tuning into my own intuition. Some things were new information for me too. Prior to the Uriel reading I had opened up to allowing myself a few sessions with other psychics and the information from all seems pretty consistent – confirmation mixed with some new information. One interesting thing that came out of my Uriel reading pertains to my head injury. I was told that I am to share that suffering a head injury is not necessarily a “bad” thing. There can be a spiritual component to traumatic brain injury (the technical term).

And, of course, on one level, this is a “no brainer” (pardon the pun). When one is tapped into the spiritual realm, everything that happens can be interpreted spiritually – as part of traveling one’s spiritual path, part of the human lives we spiritual beings incarnated to experience. But I choose go a bit deeper and look beyond the surface. I look at my own personal experience of having connected much more intensely with God as a result of hitting my head on the hardwood floor at the bottom of my staircase. Would I have gotten here eventually? Probably, but it might have taken a lot longer and it might have felt a lot different. Has it been an inconvenience? Most definitely – in addition to the spiritual component I also experienced emotional, physical, and cognitive consequences. I was dizzy and disoriented for a while, I cry much more easily, and I have problems with my short term memory. The physical effects are much less noticeable but I still deal with the cognitive and emotional issues.

Am I sorry it happened? I cannot really answer that question because by now my TBI has become part of who I am and I am happy with who I am and where I am at. I feel as though my fall was a fork in the road and I chose this particular road that led me to God in this particular manner. I know other roads lead to God -but this is the road I took and cannot turn back. So, I guess it is what it is and it is my task to accept what is, move on, and share my journey. And from where I am on this journey, I want to offer that suffering a TBI is not necessarily a horrible thing and can have a positive outcome. Namaste!

I haven’t visited the AVG website in a while and think it ironic that Bob’ most recent post is about slowing down and patience. You see, I fell down the stairs in my townhouse almost ten days ago and boy have I been slowed down! Not that I am the type of person that operates on a particularly fast pace. I can actually be really fine just hanging out doing “nothing”. Oh, but now I really don’t have a choice in the matter and have to deal with the feelings that come up around that!

Let me start out by saying that I was extraordinarily fortunate and not seriously injured. I say fortunate because I fell head first down approximately 7 or 8 stairs was probably stopped by my front door which is metal. I can only guess that is what stopped me because I was knocked out for about five minutes and only remember the beginning of the fall. I sustained a concussion and a fractured collarbone. It could have been so much worse!

As I “came to” and my mind started racing, I began to realize various “horrifying” things:

1. The right temple of my wire rim glasses was all bent out of shape so good thing I had an eye doctor appointment the following Monday and maybe I can go over to Lenscrafters and have it fixed until then…..

2. Oh my gosh – there was blood on my carpet and my townhouse is on the market – will I be able to get it cleaned up completely? If not, then what do I do about the carpet?

3. Hmmm, I was supposed to go pick up a friend to go to a barbecue – maybe I shouldn’t be driving but I have the desserts we were bringing.

I was a bit discombobulated to say the least. I managed to walk back up the stairs and find some spray carpet cleaner but didn’t think about bringing down a rag to blot up the blood once I sprayed. I left a bizarre voicemail for my friend telling her I fell, had a few bumps on my head, probably shouldn’t be driving but she was welcome to come get the desserts for the barbecue. Somewhere in there I did wonder if I should call “911”. Luckily, another friend called and when she heard what happened, came over to assess my situation, and decided to haul me off to the ER. I really was not capable of figuring that out for myself!

One CT scan, 3 x-rays, and one tetanus booster later I was sent home with a sling and instructions not to drive until the collarbone was healed (approximately four weeks). Four weeks! That meant cancelling appointments – including the aforementioned eye exam. What am I going to do without being able to drive for four weeks? I immediately considered “cheating” and driving anyway – as soon as the dizziness and nausea abated. Four weeks is such a long time and I am an independent sort of a gal who is not used to having to rely on anybody else. And gosh, I had rotator cuff surgery three years ago and was driving two days later. The clavicle didn’t even really hurt all that much.

Well, common sense so far has prevailed and I have decided to follow the doctor’s orders. This, of course, means that I have slowed down considerably AND have to ask for help. I am fortunate to have a network of friends who have made themselves available to help me. This is both a blessing and a lesson in allowing myself to be taken care of rather than feeling I have to do everything myself. Since I am recovering from a relatively traumatic event the slowing down part really has been surprisingly easy. I have had a few trips out of the house thanks to my friends and find that I get tired fairly quickly and have to stop and be slow. You know what? It really isn’t all that bad! Except of course the not being able to just decide to get in my car and take off if I want to – but I am saving money on gas for a while….

I have also been able to spend some time looking back at the fall itself. I really was not “rushing” but I was most likely distracted and not fully present or being completely mindful. Initially, I started to look for the spiritual meaning of this accident. What was the message? Why did something of this magnitude have to occur to catch my attention? It took a few days to start to see the larger picture (did I mention I was dizzy, nauseous, and had a concussion?) and I am still processing the information I am receiving about it. It feels literally as though I was struck by one of those cosmic 2 x 4’s and now the fog is lifting and I am being shown more of my spiritual truth. Not a bad thing (actually, anytime I am shown or given information about my spiritual path I feel blessed) but there are times over the past several days when I wish it could have been a bit less profound….and less painful. Maybe it is really about balance – staying on pace enough to be open to receiving the truths about oneself without trying to rush the process because rushing the process creates the opening to take those missteps.

Namaste.

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